I `m stronger now...

I'm no longer the girl who laid her

heart

[ Broken and Bleeding ]

at your feet.

And there are more

-many more-

important things in my life now

than a man.

It pays to wait.

It’s hard to run from a feeling that haunts you every now and then.

It’s painful to tell your that you don’t need it.

You keep on pretending that you are better to be alone when in fact you feel so empty.

But why take chances if you see no hope?

Why try if there’s nothing to win for?

Sometimes, it pays to wait. Never hurry.

Let infatuation die a natural death and give birth to true love when it’s time.

TO BE or NOT TO BE is the question.

A person once said to me

“what’s the difference between being a boyfriend or just being a friend?”

to which i replied, as a friend because there are no expectations between you in regards to acting in certain ways, you are able to talk about anything and everything unrestricted. Total and honest communication. As a boyfriend, [depending on the boyfriend], there are certain topics which seem to be off limits. It’s funny because; doesn’t it seem more logical to be friends with someone if that were the case?

The way i see it, as friends there is open and honest communication, nothing is off limits- talk of ex boyfriends, past experiences, current and future expectations, etc. The ideal image of a relationship and how a boyfriend should be would be an extension of that friendship. Furthering that friendship by engaging into a relationship with someone, should not mean that all of a sudden topics, things and modes of behavior become restricted but rather, your understanding as friends is so intense that things stay the same, or develop into something better.

So which side of the fence is it better to sit on?

And just to complicate things even more, what happens when you finally find someone who doesn’t restrict you, who has an understanding of the same ideals that you do, and seems near perfect in every respect? Do you come to a realization that this is exactly everything you hoped for and that this IS what a relationship should be like? A relationship not tainted by insecurities and dishonesty.

So what happens when the perfect person comes along, who you gave your complete and utter trust to, and you find out that they weren’t the person you thought they were [quite melodramatic but go with it?]

Is it worse than the boyfriend who restricted you? Since there wasn’t much to lose anyway. You knew from the beginning that he was like that and you give him credit for being honest with his actions

OR

Is it worse being the friend that you trusted with all aspects of your life and who you thought treated you with the same respect but in fact didn’t in the end? And not until your attention was called to it, did the issue come into existence.

Me Likey

What i like most about STARTING OVER is having the fervent hope that this time things will be better..

A New Beginning...

Loving him was one thing i was afraid of..

and i was right, it HURTS..

But i thank him anyway, I LEARNED TO LET GO.

He taught me what love really is..

and now i know, IT WAS NEVER HIM..

So yeah,

It`s OVER. It`s ENDING HERE.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hmm.. Keep in mind that we should thank those who hurt us. Especially those who did soo BAD, we are forced to transform.. They risk the eternal verdict of going to HELL just to make us better than who we are....

Honestly, i sometimes miss the comfort of having someone but im getting used to being alone.. I`ve learned to let go, PROUD TO SAY I MOVED ON and that time has made me strong..

I SCREWED UP AT ONE POINT.. It`s stupid, i know.. but life goes on after all.. and finally i know what i truly deserve.. A PIECE OF MIND.. :)

keithanksbye.

READ THIS.

TO THE BITCHES
WHO NEVER GET TIRED
OF TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME AND
TO THE POSERS WHO KEEP
COPYING EVERY BIT OF ME,

I only got three things to say:

1. GO FCUK YOURSELVES, `Cause you know, no one else will:)

2. Dream all you want, YOU CAN NEVER BE ME:)

3. AND YEAH,THANKS!:) you make me feel so like Serena van der woodsen and Blair Waldorf :)

HAHAH :))

and just because i`m opinionated doesn`t mean i`m a BITCH.
But i can be a BITCH , if i have to. :)

and hey,

i`m friendly:)
But i`m not so nice when you`re not so pretty in my eyes :)

0.01%

When she's gone, remember, you once loved her, you once needed her, you once cared about her more than anything.
You can't deny she was ever there.
You can't deny what you had.
You can't deny it ended over absolutely nothing.
You can't deny, that regardless, you still think about it.
No other girl could ever love you the way she does.
One day, you'll realize what you've done.

You'll come back and she'll be gone.

BLA BLA BLA ......

I hate it when people say things about you which aren’t true. There’s nothing I can do about it. And you know you can never stop people from doing it but it still gets to you. The worse part about these things is when the things that have been said could have very well transpired but didn’t…

It’s like breaking up with someone for cheating when they actually never did. But the fact that they had a history of cheating or the fact that it was supported by the view of others made it a lot easier to believe and a lot more difficult to internalize the actual truth. Yes it’s ridiculous but its human nature to believe the things which are less obscure to believe.

Sometimes in those situations, since people (regardless of what they say) have already made up their mind about what happened or about you, you’d wish that since they were going to talk about you anyway, you might as well have done something worth talking about it. But that’s the hurt talking… at the end of the day, the people who know you best will also know the truth.

Whatever the reasons for the initial gossip will never ever matter. No matter how close you get to a person or think you know a person, very rarely will you find out the complete truth. In the end it’s about ’self’ and not being willing to admit or see the bad things in ourselves.

No one likes to be introspective.

And since no-one ever knows, the end result is what we see and is what is difficult to erase from the minds of others. If friendships are destroyed… then they weren’t that strong to begin with. Regardless of saying you believe someone or not, internally you’ve already made a choice.

The hardest thing is life is not to be judgmental… Which is an epic fail since within 3secs of meeting a person you have already summed up your opinion of them. Everyone is guilty of that. But actively trying is the hardest part.

Likewise, the other thing is being honest. In life there are certain people you will be completely and utterly honest to, whether it’s good, bad, disgusting etc. But you tell these people knowing that they’ll still love you for you. This doesn’t mean you’re lying to everyone else, it just means you share less detail. I don’t know what it is within me- but whether it’s bad or good I try to tell things as they are because even if it’s not peaches and cream, hopefully the person listening wont disown you for it.

Sometimes that’s a bad thing. Well for me anyways. Apparently I’d make a shit lawyer because I find it difficult to lie or obscure the truth. ha-ha! But also because people can take advantage of you (also a lesson I learnt the hard way a while back)… With being honest comes being trusting and when you’re too trusting you can easily get screwed over…

Anyways, whatever the situation this blog is all the time I’m exerting on it… people have alwayyyys said to me “don’t bother… don’t let it get to you… you care too much.. it doesn’t matter what other people think… if you know the truth then you’re the one who will have to deal with it- good or bad”

It’s true. I do care. I do let things get to me. And I know for a fact things like this get to other people- they just don’t voice it/show it. Probably a smarter thing to do too. But this is my flaw. And now you know if you already didn’t.

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors,
but there`s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper suppose to magically wrap around
rock and leave it immobile?! Why the hell can`t paper do this to scissors??
screw scissors, why can`t paper do this to people??!
why aren`t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students
as they take notes in class?? i`ll tell you why...
because paper can`t beat anybody!
a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds!
When i play rock paper scissors, i always choose rock.
then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper i can punch them in the face
with my already clenched fist and say,
"oh shit! im sorry.. i thought paper would protect you, YOU ASSHOLE!!!"

GAAAAAAAA

I LOVE YOU
But i don`t think i can love you anymore.

Breaking me on down

Immediately i pretended to be feeling similarly and led you to believe it was okay to just walk away from the one thing that`s unyielding and sacred to me. I guess i`m just trying to be nonchalant about it and i`m to extremes to prove i`m fine without you.. But in reality, i`m slowly losing my mind underneath a disguise of a smile.. Gradually, i`m dying inside..Friends always ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly `coz i don`t want to reveal the fact that i`m suffering.. So i`ll just wear my disguise till i go home at night and then i`ll just break down and cry.......

So what do you do when somebody you`re so devoted to suddenly betray you?? and it seems they haven`t got a clue of the pain they putting you through.... Do you cling to your pride and just sing "i will survive??" or do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way?"
Will you still hold on in vain as they just slip away???? .... *sigh* :"(

I know it`ll break you down only if you let it. But honestly, every fuckin day, crazy situations rockin` my mind.. It kicks me round and stressing me out!! So i think now i better go and get out and let me relieve some stress...Don`t ever want to feel pain.. I always hope for the sun but it looks like it`s always rain... :( :( :(