TO BE or NOT TO BE is the question.

A person once said to me

“what’s the difference between being a boyfriend or just being a friend?”

to which i replied, as a friend because there are no expectations between you in regards to acting in certain ways, you are able to talk about anything and everything unrestricted. Total and honest communication. As a boyfriend, [depending on the boyfriend], there are certain topics which seem to be off limits. It’s funny because; doesn’t it seem more logical to be friends with someone if that were the case?

The way i see it, as friends there is open and honest communication, nothing is off limits- talk of ex boyfriends, past experiences, current and future expectations, etc. The ideal image of a relationship and how a boyfriend should be would be an extension of that friendship. Furthering that friendship by engaging into a relationship with someone, should not mean that all of a sudden topics, things and modes of behavior become restricted but rather, your understanding as friends is so intense that things stay the same, or develop into something better.

So which side of the fence is it better to sit on?

And just to complicate things even more, what happens when you finally find someone who doesn’t restrict you, who has an understanding of the same ideals that you do, and seems near perfect in every respect? Do you come to a realization that this is exactly everything you hoped for and that this IS what a relationship should be like? A relationship not tainted by insecurities and dishonesty.

So what happens when the perfect person comes along, who you gave your complete and utter trust to, and you find out that they weren’t the person you thought they were [quite melodramatic but go with it?]

Is it worse than the boyfriend who restricted you? Since there wasn’t much to lose anyway. You knew from the beginning that he was like that and you give him credit for being honest with his actions

OR

Is it worse being the friend that you trusted with all aspects of your life and who you thought treated you with the same respect but in fact didn’t in the end? And not until your attention was called to it, did the issue come into existence.